There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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