He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
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