my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my poor anus
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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