I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
