To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize