we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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