He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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