look no pants
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
