:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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