well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
