Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
