I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
