There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
