# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
