No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize