belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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