i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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