guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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