i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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