her vagina looked like bernie madoff
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize