he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
