The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize