Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
