It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
