those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
