It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
