somebody snuck up and got me drunk
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
