"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize