Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize