check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
