I wish life had little blips of pornography
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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