Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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