we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
