I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how can u be prego again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
