I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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