Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
