I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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