my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
