Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
