Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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