And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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