all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
