Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
