Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
