Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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