I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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