i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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