I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
