I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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