My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This house was built for laser tag.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
