just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
