I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
