He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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