Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
