the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
