Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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