Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
