Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
